


509, 413, 612

by spasticVocalist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, i am not surprised, there was a tag for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3561893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spasticVocalist/pseuds/spasticVocalist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because I am soulmate au trash. </p><p>You can figure out the plot from the tags.</p>
            </blockquote>





	509, 413, 612

No one is quite sure how, when, where or even why, but somehow, long ago, in a place no one can remember, they found them. 

They were silver, vaguely resembled scissors and had an odd dispenser-type-thing on the handle. Wherever they had been discovered, there had been instructions. They had been called the ~~most stupid thing they could come up with~~ _Dispensers of Fate_ , and they were used to cut the umbilical cords of babies. Only, once the cord was cut, the handle of the scissoresque contraption would dispense a timer strip that was to be placed on the forearm of the child. The timer strip would adhere itself to the infant's skin and would grow with the child until time was up. It measured time in seconds and so the number always started out in the millions. 

The purpose of the timer was simple. 

It counted down the seconds until you met your soulmate. 

Once the time started getting reasonably low, one would feel an intense need to go somewhere. Theoretically, it was possible to ignore this feeling, but ignoring it meant you wouldn't meet your soulmate, and most felt like they would die if they did not go wherever it was they were all but being pulled to. So not going was nearly unheard of. 

Sometimes though, the feeling led people to rather inconvenient locations that could cause death, and so some people refused to go anywhere and ordered themselves strapped down whenever their time was nearly up. This, of course, didn't stop their soulmates from trying to find them. 

This is a moot point in relation to this story, however. 

This narrative is about one John Egbert (and his soulmate, but we'll get back to that). 

As in most ~~regrettably, embarrassingly cliché~~ "adventure" stories, his morning started out like any other. 

He got up to the sound of his alarm, took a shower, put on some "clean" clothes, ate breakfast, etc., etc. 

By this point, the raven-haired teen was fully awake, so when he glanced down at his forearm, he promptly completed a wide-eyed double take. His timer had under 5,000 seconds left on it. That was less than one and a half hours. Holy _shit_. 

He looked down at his outfit, which had been perfectly fine moments ago, with slight disgust. An old _Ghostbusters_ t-shirt riddled with holes and a twice-worn-since-their-last-wash pair of jeans just would not do! This was his _soulmate_ for fuck's sake!

John sprinted back up to his room and rummaged through his closet and dresser with urgency. He eventually came out with ( _clean_ ) skinny jeans, a form-fitting, blue v-neck shirt, and a blue hoodie for the slightly chilly weather. 

At least he didn't look homeless, now. 

There was a soft knock on his bedroom door. 

"Yeah?" He called. 

The door opened to reveal his father whose face was adorned with a fond smile. "So today's the day, huh kiddo?"

John smiled back nervously. "Yup."

His father took in his state and walked foreword, engulfing his son in an embrace. "You'll be fine, John. They're your soulmate. They won't reject you."

John bit his lip, though still returned the hug. "But what if-"

"Hush," his father intoned softly. "Don't worry about it. It will all work out."

John sighed, relaxing a bit in the arms of his father. "Thanks, Dad."

Mr. Egbert smiled. "It's my job, son."

Recalling something from his childhood, John chuckled. "Remember when I thought your job was to stand on the side of the road and entertain people?"

His dad smiled. "Yes, I do. But today is about you. And you'll be _fine._ "

John groaned. "I know, I know." He pulled away from his father. "But you really can't blame me for wanting to distra-" John cut off as he began to feel an internal force, almost like the pull of a magnet. "... -ct myself," he finished slowly. 

Dad's smile widened. "Do you feel the Pull?"

John nodded distantly, staring at some unidentified point. 

"Go," his dad said. "Find them."

John nodded again, dazedly walking foreword. 

His dad watched, pride in his son evident on his features. "Be careful!" The man called as John walked to the front door and out of the house. 

 

John gained more control of himself the further he walked. He was more careful than he had been when he began, but excitement and nervousness twisted in his gut and made him a bit clumsy. 

-er. 

Than usual. 

Which said something. 

John Egbert was pretty fucking clumsy. 

He took the paths that were pre-made exactly for those in his situation; routes that did their best to keep those blindly following their soulmate's trail out of harm's way. 

He glanced down at his timer. Damn. Three hundred seconds left. Five minutes. Had he really been walking for that long? The dull ache in his feet informed him that, yes, he had indeed been walking for nearly seventy minutes. 

John didn't really recognize his surroundings as he was Pulled into a park. 

Trees and bushes were all around him; limbs covered in rounded, fleshy green that created food for the hulking stationary beasts. He trekked beneath their shading canopies, surrounded by muted sounds of life. Bugs buzzed, birds sang, the wind breathed softly through the leaves, caressing the branches. John was lulled by the sounds, and the Pull of his soulmate grew stronger as he kept going. 

Then he tripped. 

And fell. 

Flat on his face. 

Spectacular job, John. Gold star for you. 

"Gah!" John called in time with what he had tripped over. 

_Wait, what?_

"Holy infantfisting dickfondler!" Exclaimed a voice as John peeled himself off the ground. He brushed off his face before fumbling around for his glasses. Finding them, he returned the frames to their home on the bridge of his nose. 

"Can't a guy fall asleep in the middle of the forest without having some moron falling all over him?! How mentally incapacitated do you have to be to not notice-" John tuned the guy out, not on purpose, mind you, once he got a good look at him. Because, _damn._

He was _hot._

No, dick. 

Down. 

John pushed himself off the ground; it was then that he noticed the cool breeze in a place that had not felt anything for over sixteen years. 

He grinned widely, sitting back on his knees. He held up a hand in a wave. "Hi! I'm John!"

The other guy sneered, tanned cheeks moving downward with his lips, eyebrows coming together over reddish-brown eyes. He obviously hadn't noticed yet, then. 

"Why the fuck would that information interest me in the slightest? Don't answer that. I'm sure the energy required to expend the effort to rub the two sorry excuses you dare to call braincells together would overexert you, and there's no way in hell I'm dragging some unconscious, taintchafe of a stranger to the hospital. What were you even fucking doing out here anyway?"

John would have pointed out that he was the one taking a _nap_ out here, but the opening he had left was just too good for John to resist. 

"Well," John said, waving his still raised hand and grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. "Time was up."

The guy's look morphed into one of irritated confusion. "'Time was up'? What the fuck is that supposed to-" his eyes widened as he finally noticed John's wrist, or, rather, the patch of pale(r) skin where his timer used to be. "... Mean." He gasped softly, pushing down the sleeve of a black hoodie to look at his own wrist to confirm that, yes, what was happening was indeed what he thought was happening. 

John giggled and distantly wondered if one's cheeks could fall off from smiling too hard. 

"Oh, shit." The other guy said, looking horrified. "Holy dickshitting fuckmunch. Oh, hell. Sorry I'm such a rude asscap. Don't mind me, I'm just going to go finish digging my own grave. No need to worry, though. It won't take long at all."

"Hey, it's alright! I mean, I am the idiot that fell on you while you were sleeping! I just caught you off guard! Not the best move on my part, was it?" John chuckled nervously; this was not going as well as he thought it would. 

The guy shook his head, rubbing at his face. "Sorry to burst your bubble of misplaced goodwill and valiantly attempted help, but I'm this much of a pustule-ridden asscheek all the time."

Shit. This was not going well. This was not going well at all. There had to be a way to salvage the situation, right?

"Uh." Sophisticated as ever, Egderp. "How about we start over? Hi! I'm John Egbert! What's your name?"

The guy paused, looking up at John with slight confusion. For a moment, John was afraid that he wouldn't say anything, but he eventually sighed, shaking his head before he played along. "Karkat. Karkat Vantas. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, here."

Neither of them did, really. But they had more fun getting into it than anyone could have imagined.

**Author's Note:**

> you motherfuckers are really getting spoiled right now  
>  ~~dont get used to it~~  
>  comments are hella appreciated


End file.
